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27th Birthday

27th Birthday

Looking back, I wanted to bloom but I had to be rooted. I wanted to branch out but I had to be pruned. Now, I am transforming in perspectives, priorities, and pursuits.

Day 100

Day 100

I am celebrating a milestone, my 100th day post stem cell transplant. Oh, how faithful is our God! He is a way maker, a miracle worker, a promise keeper, a light in the darkness!

Never Forsaken

Never Forsaken

On May 16 and 17, I had my rebirthday. I was reborn with a new immune system. I was given another fighting chance in life. It was Day 0.

Day 24

Day 24

Yesterday, after 32 days of hospitalization, I was finally home. Transplant was unworldly tough for me. I was so exhausted. I shed so many tears of pain.

Live

Live

Battling the big C (cancer) in the middle of the pandemic C (covid-19) has been financially and logistically more difficult.

Wheelchair

Wheelchair

Mobility is one of the things I struggled with in cancer treatment. I now own a walker and a wheelchair.

Anchor for the Soul

Anchor for the Soul

After receiving my PET CT result last November 25 that showed disease progression, I wrote in my journal questions to God. Why is my healing taking so long? I didn’t understand. I was scared. I was in pain.

Stay Home for Cancer

Stay Home for Cancer

Cancer patients belong to the high risk group of this pandemic, and we are caught in between avoiding this virus and continuing our life-saving treatments.

Period

Period

Fertility is one of the issues in cancer treatment, especially for the adolescents and young adults (AYAs) with cancer. But, I was not counseled about this.

Pandemic

Pandemic

This COVID-19 pandemic is a trying time for all of us, but most especially for the frontliners, the poor, and the vulnerable groups.

This Is My Story

This Is My Story

I may not have control over the situations in my story, but I have control on my response and more importantly, on how I tell my story.

Hello, 2020

Hello, 2020

The last 2 years were crazy, almost impossible, but God has granted me and my family miracles and I know that this 2020, there will be more. To healing and miracles!

Treatment

Treatment

They may come in small packages but they cost more than half a million pesos! And, they're for a month's supply only.

Fire

Fire

Refractory. It is a word that no cancer patient want to hear. According to the National Cancer Institute, refractory cancer is a cancer that does not respond to treatment. It is also called resistant cancer.

Breathe

Breathe

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. That was all that I could think of as I gasp for air. I wanted to lash out but I couldn’t even cry because I know it will be more difficult to breathe. Would I take my last breath soon? God, would this be my earthly end?

Take Heart

Take Heart

My heart was filled with so much gratitude but my mind was being attacked by the devil – I am flawed, I am a sinner, and I am not a good person. I had to take captive of my thoughts – I am loved, I am forgiven, and I am redeemed. This is God’s grace, an unmerited favor!

A Walking Miracle

A Walking Miracle

2018 was a difficult year and the fallen human in me wanted to curse it as a bad year. But, the Christian in me sees it as a redemption year!

Miracle in Misdiagnosis

Miracle in Misdiagnosis

Last March 27, I received my PET/CT scan result and it was not good. There is progressive malignant disease. But, on the same day, the result of the slide review of my previous biopsy came out as Primary Mediastinal (Thymic) Large B-Cell Lymphoma (PMBCL).

Hope

Hope

I have read that God’s grace is deeply personal, but it is not private. We must make Him known and proclaim His goodness!

Still

Still

I could not count the times I begged the Lord to help me be still because I know I must ask for endurance and not for an easy journey. I keep telling myself to hold on to the Lord – to His promises – when truthfully, all this time, He has been the one holding me.

Ice Chips

Ice Chips

We always say that things get better. Well, let me tell you that chemotherapy is not one of those things. I hate chemotherapy.

Sunday Morning

Sunday Morning

It has been a difficult month. I want to share my struggles and realizations but I grapple with words and sentence construction.

Losing Hair, Growing Faith

Losing Hair, Growing Faith

We do not only fear cancer, but we also fear its treatment. And, this fear is very valid because treatment is definitely not a walk in the park.

A Crisis called Cancer

A Crisis called Cancer

Overwhelmed, I told her that I didn’t understand how a benign biopsy escalated to cancer. She explained that invasiveness is a malignant activity and my tumor was invasive so it should’ve been treated as malignant or as cancer.

The Beginning of a Crisis

The Beginning of a Crisis

I once read that God allows crisis in our lives to bring us into a deep, deep faith and my crisis began in grace. The detection of the tumor in my anterior mediastinum was incidental, but I claimed it as my first miracle from God in this journey.