• No Matter Where

    I remind myself that God holds my past, present, and future, and that He has plans to prosper me (Jeremiah 29:11). I will thrive no matter where I am in my cancer survivorship journey because I have God with me.

    August 03, 20235 min read
  • Highs and Lows

    As 2022 unfolded, I held on to a new word for the year—stewardship. I hoped to steward the time, talent, treasure, and truth that God has entrusted in me—He extended my time on earth, allowed me to return to graduate school, placed wonderful people in my life, and strengthened my relationship with Jesus.

    March 04, 20235 min read
  • God's But

    I knew that life—more so, life with cancer—is a marathon, not a sprint. I knew that recovery is not linear. I knew that I have to keep pressing on. I knew that I have to be patient. I knew. But I still struggled.

    October 11, 20212 min read
  • I Shall Not Want

    In the last 3 years, I was laser focused with cancer treatments. I only wanted to be cancer-free. And now that I am, I began noticing the milestones—education, career, and relationship milestones—of my peers. I began to envy. I began wanting for more.

    May 21, 20213 min read
  • Healing and Miracles

    Entering 2021, I hope for more healing and miracles. I hope to embody a character and a perspective that are pleasing to God. And I hope that whatever lies ahead, I will be able to always respond in faith.

    January 06, 20216 min read
  • Day 100

    It is supernatural and timely that today, almost exactly a year after, I am celebrating a milestone—Day 100 post stem cell transplant. Oh, how faithful is our God! He is a way maker, a miracle worker, a promise keeper, a light in the darkness!

    August 25, 20201 min read
  • Never Forsaken

    On May 16 and 17, I had my rebirthday. I was reborn with a new immune system. I was given another fighting chance in life... Looking back to my month-long hospitalization, from May 9 to June 10, I see that I was never forsaken. God was with me in that hospital room, and God continues to be with me.

    July 31, 20206 min read
  • Day 24

    One Saturday, while my body felt almost exploding, my spirit just shattered. I broke down to God. Why do I have to endure this much? Where is peace? Where is joy? What glory is there after all these? Deep inside me, I knew the answers. But I was shutting out the truth and struggling to keep my head above water.

    June 11, 20201 min read
  • Live

    The following morning, I woke up with a message from my oncologist that says, "Your PET looks good!" I hastily opened my hospital account and looked for the scan result. Hallelujah! It says no evidence of disease.

    May 08, 20201 min read
  • Anchor for the Soul

    Why is my healing taking so long? I didn’t understand. I was scared. I was in pain. All tumors from my chest down to my abdomen grew. The ones in my right kidney were so big; they were protruding on my right abdomen.

    April 03, 20203 min read
  • Fire

    I am still refractory, still resistant. But, I still have that quiet confidence in the deepest recesses of my heart that God will heal me. I may not fully understand God but I know He is with me in this fire and me in this fire will bring glory to Him as written in the verse above.

    December 02, 20193 min read
  • Breathe

    Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. That was all that I could think of as I gasp for air. I wanted to lash out but I couldn’t even cry because I know it will be more difficult to breathe. Would I take my last breath soon? God, would this be my earthly end?

    October 15, 20194 min read
  • Take Heart

    My heart was filled with so much gratitude but my mind was being attacked by the devil—I am flawed, I am a sinner, and I am not a good person. I had to take captive of my thoughts—I am loved, I am forgiven, and I am redeemed. This is God’s grace, an unmerited favor!

    May 15, 20195 min read
  • A Walking Miracle

    Last March 27, I received my PET/CT scan result and it was not good. There is progressive malignant disease. But, on the same day, the result of the slide review of my previous biopsy came out as Primary Mediastinal (Thymic) Large B-Cell Lymphoma (PMBCL).

    April 06, 20199 min read
  • Hope

    He then went on telling me how I should be doing my bucket list already. I was appalled but thought that maybe he really just want me to enjoy life. Before he left, he told me that he admires my optimism. He added that others would be asking for divine intervention. Well, I answered, “Me too, Doc.”

    December 07, 20186 min read
  • Still

    I could not count the times I begged the Lord to help me be still because I know I must ask for endurance and not for an easy journey. I keep telling myself to hold on to the Lord—to His promises—when truthfully, all this time, He has been the one holding me.

    November 21, 20184 min read
  • Ice Chips

    I understood how science see the numbers, the chances, the probabilities, and the statistics. But, I am not a statistic. I don’t want the length of my life determined by chances. I told her my faith simply tells me I will live. I looked at the options again and chose the longest option. 10 years and above.

    November 01, 20183 min read
  • Losing Hair, Growing Faith

    She mentioned the 4 reasons patients at this stage may choose to stop undergoing chemotherapy. The patient cannot tolerate the side effects, chemotherapy is not working, the condition is not improving nor worsening, or the patient simply chooses not to. But, I thought of a fifth reason. The patient is healed.

    October 02, 20188 min read
  • A Crisis called Cancer

    Overwhelmed, I told her that I didn’t understand how a benign biopsy escalated to cancer. She explained that invasiveness is a malignant activity and my tumor was invasive so it should’ve been treated as malignant or as cancer.

    August 31, 20186 min read
  • The Beginning of a Crisis

    I once read that God allows crisis in our lives to bring us into a deep, deep faith. My crisis began in grace—the detection of the tumor in my anterior mediastinum was incidental, but I saw it as the first miracle in this journey.

    August 17, 20185 min read